THE ALICEYou will need a copy of the 5th edition Player's Handbook to fully utilize this class.
Hit Dice: 1d4 per alice level
Hit Points at 1st Level: 4 + your Constitution modifier
Hit Points at Higher Levels: 1d4 (or 2) + your Constitution modifier per alice level after 1st
Armor: Light armor
Weapons: Simple weapons, hand crossbows, longswords, rapiers, shortswords
Tools: Thieves' tools
Saving Throws: Dexterity
Skills: Choose two from Acrobatics, Athletics, Deception, Insight, Intimidation, Investigation, Perception, Performance, Persuasion, Sleight of Hand, and Stealth
You start with the following, in addition to equipment granted by your background:
In times of unusual stress Alices may become Exasperated. This Exasperation causes fate to take notice of the Alice, and then to aid her. The Alice says or thinks something like “Oh I can’t conceive how I ever fell into this deplorable circumstance!” or “We are indeed doomed and now birds will gnaw our eyes.”
Practically speaking, an Alice may express Exasperation once every real-time game hour (as games focus almost exclusively on stressful times, these represent the periods during which the gods are most likely to take notice).
When this happens, the Referee should roll the dice on the Exasperation Table...
At 1st thru 5th level roll d4, at 6th-7th level roll d6, at 8th-9th level roll d8, at 10th-11th roll d10, at 12th level and higher roll d12:
1-A secret door is revealed where none had previously been detected. If the GM has made no provision for a secret door, it leads to the nearest unexplored area.
2-The Alice realizes she has something in her pack, her hair, or otherwise secreted about her person. The object can be anything non-magical and generic (a key, not the key) that exists in the setting and that is small enough that the Alice could reasonably have it hidden it in her current condition or smaller than a breadbox, whichever dimensions are smaller at the time. The Alice may choose what this is.
3-An ordinary animal--cat sized or smaller--appears. The Alice cannot directly control it but it will not under any circumstances hurt the Alice.
4-A fact about the situation at hand occurs to the Alice--a piece of local or monster lore, perhaps something she read or was once told in a parlor or a lesson or in a kitchen.
5-Someone of the Alice's choice falls down. (Line of sight.)
6-The weather in the immediate area changes in a way decided by the Alice--the change is general and may not be targeted (no aimed lighting bolts or gusts of wind).
7-A nearby creature is charmed by the Alice for an hour. (Line of sight.)
8-An inorganic device or object of the Alice's choice breaks. (Line of sight.)
9-Something not ordinarily able to talk (GM's choice) begins to speak to the Alice.
10-Creatures present complete forget the Alice is there for as long as the Alice keeps making saves vs spell.
11-Someone is sent to fetch the Alice out of her current predicament. If there is an obvious candidate from among the local NPCs (giant eagles, a friendly knight...), that's who it is. If there isn't, then: hey GM, time to make up a weirdo. The NPC does not automatically have the ability to extricate the Alice from the situation, s/he merely appears as close as is plausible.
12-Someone or something of the Alice's choice begins to shrink at 1 foot per round down to playing-card size. (Line of sight.)
These effects are magical and can be countered as magic.
At 1st level, choose one of your skill proficiencies (or your proficiency with thieves' tools). Your proficiency bonus is doubled for any ability check you make that uses the chosen proficiency.
At 1st level, you know how to strike subtly and exploit a foe's distraction. Once per turn, you can deal an extra 1d6 damage to one creature you hit with an attack if you have advantage on the attack roll. The attack must use a finesse or ranged weapon.
Every time you level up beyond 1st level, roll twice on the table below. When you roll a result, cross it off and treat re-rolls as the next result UP the table unless a thing tells you not to cross it off, it will also tell you what happens when you re-roll the same result instead.
1-10 This seemed to Alice a good opportunity... Increase your SNEAK ATTACK ability by +1d6. Re-rolls increase the damage dice as described by the ability on pages 95 and 96. Cross this result off if you manage to raise your SNEAK ATTACK to 10d6.
11 She could be very charming when she needed to be. You gain proficiency in Deception. If you already have proficiency in Deception then you gain EXPERTISE with Deception and cross this result off. If you already have EXPERTISE with Deception then cross this result off and use the next result on the table (12).
12 Alice liked pies, although sometimes people did not want her to have them. Add your proficiency bonus to any attempt to locate any foodstuff of any kind. Do not cross this result off! Re-rolling this gives you EXPERTISE in finding food, then cross this result off.
13 They kept talking as though Alice was a rhododendron in a pot. You gain proficiency in Stealth. If you already have proficiency in Stealth then you gain EXPERTISE with Deception and cross this result off. If you already have EXPERTISE with Stealth then cross this result off and use the next result on the table (14).
14 She tried to remember what she knew about stoats. You gain proficiency in the Animal Handling skill. If you already have proficiency then you gain EXPERTISE with Animal Handling and cross this result off. If you already have EXPERTISE with Animal Handling then cross this result off and use the next result on the table (15-20).
15-20 Falling down wells really improves the hand-eye coordination Pick up EXPERTISE for a skill proficiency of your choice (your proficiency with thieves' tools counts as a choice, but you may not make the same choice twice). Do not cross this result off! If all of your skill proficiencies have acquired EXPERTISE then re-rolling this gives you a new skill proficiency.
21-70 Alice was then reminded of something she'd noticed before... Take the CUNNING ACTION Rogue ability. Do not cross this result off! Re-rolling this raises your Hit Points by +2.
71-75 Alice felt that if there was to be any conversation at all, she must manage it herself. You can increase one of your ability scores by 1 point. Do not cross this result off!
76 You're very perceptive, if nothing else. For each combat round you spend just watching someone (i.e. you're not doing anything except maybe moving and you are not being attacked yourself) you get +d10 to hit and +d10 to damage or +d10 to any attempt to trip, grab, or otherwise mess with the target when you finally do decide to attack. This only works on targets that are engaged in combat while they are being observed. The ability can only be used once per fight on anyone smart enough to notice what you're doing. Also: only works on things with organs (like, not on oozes). Do not cross this result off! Re-rolling this raises the die to d12 then d20. After that you start getting 2d10 then 2d12 then 2d20 etc.
77 Her aunt had mentioned them and this made Alice wary You gain proficiency in Intelligence saving throws. After that, you gain proficiency in Wisdom saving throws, then Charisma, then Constitution. If you manage to roll this result a fifth time then take proficiency in Strength saving throws then cross this result off.
78-79 She did seem to offend people (and animals) wherever she went. You've become adept at dueling. You gain the UNCANNY DODGE ability (page 96) and the DUELING Fighting Style (page 72). If you already have either or both of these then you don't get replacement abilities or a re-roll.
80 They began to throw stones, and Alice began to avoid them You gain the EVASION ability (page 96)
81 She was not such a mouse as she used to be. You gain the RELIABLE TALENT Rogue ability (page 96)
82 She listened attentively in the dark, Alice knw she was being surrounded. Gain the BLINDSENSE ability (page 96)
83 "It really was curious," she thought--"How many times could this kind of thing happen?" You gain the ELUSIVE ability (page 96)
84 She began to feel somewhat neglected. You gain the STROKE OF LUCK ability (page 97)
85 Alice quite liked drawing, and had an impressive box of crayons at home. You gain the IMPOSTER ability (page 97)
86 Oh, I do so apologize... You can super-easily trip any basically human-sized creature that is otherwise engaged with someone or something else on a successful attack roll (apply your Dexterity bonus to the roll). This only works once per fight unless the enemy is mindless like zombies or for some reason can't see you pull off this tactic.
87 It was very shiny and stuck out like a soup spoon... On a successful melee hit, you may immediately make a Sleight of Hand attempt to grab an item (other than the target's weapon) off a target. This won't work twice on anyone above zombie-intelligence who sees it.
88 Alice then did something quite astonishing... You are surprising. Use your entire charisma score as an attack roll bonus to hit with any suddenly improvised weapon the first time you strike against any intelligent foe (who knew what you could do with a gingerbread man?) and add your whole charisma score to the damage. This trick only works once per fight.
89 The blue one certainly did make you taller, of that Alice was sure... When you use potions or substances with drug-like qualities, you can choose to double the effects or cut them in half.
90 She knew to curtsey at times like this, and so she did. Despite the low company you keep, you've been working on your manners. Members of the upper classes instinctively recognize you as one of their own. You gain advantage on Charisma skill checks or saving throws when dealing with them.
91 She had not known her mother's cousin very well, and decided that it was a bad thing that she had died... You have been willed 5000 units of the local currency (GP? SP? Kroner?) worth of random mundane (nonmagical) objects. Here's how it works: you have exactly ten seconds real time to say what you bought. You now have all that stuff, assuming it adds up to less than 5000gp.
92 She thought it might be a saltcellar, or at least that seemed like the right word for it. You can appraise treasure to a nontrivial and nonboring degree: you can estimate the value of nonmagical things flawlessly and if a piece of treasure is not what it seems on any level you will get an inkling. As in, you'll go "Is this not what it seems?" and the GM will go "Yeah, you've seen a lot of jade urns in your day and this is not what it seems somehow--you're not sure how." If a treasure has some unusual or hidden feature of a mechanical or physical nature you will sense that it is there on a successful Intelligence saving throw. You won't know what it is, but you'll sense that it is there. If you re-roll this result you gain the USE MAGIC DEVICE ability (page 97), after that cross this result off.
93 She closed her eyes and said the words as she'd been taught... You have learned one magic-user spell. It functions as if cast by a 15th level wizard or your level whichever is higher. Determine the spell randomly (d8 for level). It works once, that's it. Do not cross this result off! Same result always applies.
94 Alice learned that nearly everything was dangerous if handled properly. You've become very skilled with weapons. Choose a Fighter's FIGHTING STYLE (page 70) for yourself. Re-rolling this result allows you to choose another FIGHTING STYLE from the same list. If you manage to acquire all six FIGHTING STYLES then cross this result off.
95 All that hiding in the dumbwaiter has finally paid off. You know a secret. One of two kinds of secret, to be precise: either a piece of useful lore about a legendary treasure or magic item that you encounter or an embarrassing fact about an NPC. Mechanically: once per session you may astound your party's condescending wizard by pulling this lore or rumor out of your petticoat or pantaloon by making a successful Intelligence saving throw. If you fail, screw it, you can't do it this session. Re-rolling this means you try for this twice per session, then 3 times, etc
96 It was so lovely, and--according to the book--it was right there. The dress made of manticoreflesh, the house full of lilacs, the magical fishgutting knife---whatever the thing that you always wanted is, it's there. 4 sessions worth of adventure away or less. Tell your GM, who then must place it.
You must have a fair shot at it--like any other reward, but there's no guarantee you will get it. If you don't get it by the fourth session you can keep trying or let it go and roll again on this table. However if you choose to roll again and then you do get the thing somehow anyway, you lose whatever gimmick you rolled. GM think up some clever reason why.
97 She knew from school what the word meant, but did not know if it was rude or not. Choose a new language to read and speak. Do not cross this result off! Re-rolls give new languages.
98-99 Alice had seen so many unusual things lately, it had become usual. You've seen and done so much that nothing phases you--you are immune to insanity or confusion in any form. Even mind-altering cosmic horrors from the far edge of the cosmos are like whatever. You still do fear. Fear is good. Fear keeps you alive. Re-rolling this means any allies who can see you likewise get a bonus (+2) to their saves on account of your steady eye. Then cross this result off.
00 Alice kept, through all her riper years, the simple and loving heart of her childhood. You may choose any one result from this table for yourself, but it is crossed off afterwards even if it says not to cross it off! Do not cross this result off!