Twin Peaks: The Regurgitation

I preferred Twin Peaks when it had a tired, saggy second season that ended with the bad guy winning!
I have almost total and complete non-interest in finishing Twin Peaks. The resurrected show is not fun to watch, it's boring, and, most importantly, it's frustrating.
I am fairly confident that one could take all 18 episodes of The Return and edit out all of the fluff and silence and scenes with "Douggie" to a two hour film. Perhaps they should have.
It's only funny in moments where there is literally nothing happening, and only then it's amusing because you're aware that David Lynch is fucking with you. Every time a conversation lags or the camera lingers on a face for more than five seconds or we see somebody tie the laces of their shoe, you can think "Wow, David Lynch got paid to make this?"
It's hard to elevate trash by being trash. Nothing about this new show is appealing.


Yet, I can't stop watching it.